Recently I have been faced with coming to terms about what I believe to be true about navigating egos in the Default World. Mine, others' and especially the dynamic between. More specifically with the 'cult of personality' concept. In the past, in my personal and professional orbit, it was sometimes a deeply humbling realization that sometimes people had gathered around something I was working on because of me. Like, me, as a personality - sitting there at the head of the board table, years younger than anyone else speaking and acting as if I knew what I was doing. In actuality, I was winging it like 95% of the time and it really just boiled down to me having the confidence to be the one to lead the thing, whatever it happened to be.
As I began to realize this phenomenon with at least a couple of organizations I founded over the years, I also realized I also had to slowly back out. Like I had to, for the health and vitality of the idea. I mean, what if I got hit by a bus or moved to Paris? I wanted people gathered around the idea, not me! Especially if I want those ideas to stick and further the community around that idea in an evolutionary direction. My decade-long task became investigating questions like how do I build myself OUT of something as I'm building it UP? What foundations and orientations are necessary to hold an idea down long enough into reality for others to take ownership? How long does that process take me to execute and establish? Am I even crucial to the process? How do I build something with a Leave No Trace ethic with regards to my ego?
I have several strong data points in my career around failures and have learned through experience some of the tell-tale signs of this 'cult of personality' phenomenon. [Blessedly we're not there with my current day job and my past experiences have allowed me to navigate some of these potential situations with a little more grace and elegance, thank Goddess!] It's a balance though, right? Sticking around long enough to facilitate an idea to stick without the sticky personal attachments that can go along with it...
I'm musing all this because the discernment shifts a little bit in the spiritual and religious dimensions of our relationships. Like, how do I discern clearly (and with kindness) when I do sniff out one of these 'cult of personality' situations? It can be tiring to hold on to skepticism and yet that's exactly where I'm at sometimes. I just wanna open my heart and trust and heal and go for it! For real, if you have insight about this, lay it on me. I genuinely want to hear. For now, I breathe, smile, open my heart into what I'm doing at this moment and forget about the rest. And, it probably goes without saying, I remain a humbled, free agent, yo! All this even as things get further complicated when I ruminate on the Aurah-as-a-creative-instrument phenomenon I am exploring these days. I don't know what the answer is but I acknowledge the paradox.
The picture below was taken by my dear friend Erica the other morning as we wandered around in conversation over coffee. I think my facial expression says all this better than words ever could. May it be so.
Periodic updates from Aurah in the Field.