The other day I was on my way to have a quick meeting with a friend of mine. I stopped for gas and as I was pulling out of the gas station, I noticed a journal on the concrete – right where my car would be passing. Huh, I thought. I write religiously in my journals on a daily basis (I have for years and years and always have one with me in my purse) and I always include my contact info in the front cover in case it’s ever lost. Duh.
Anyway, I saw this journal lying on the ground and so I opened my car door to scoop it up. On the front it said Rice University Jones School of Business. I looked inside the front cover for contact info: none. So I asked the question of my deeper self “Is this for me? If so, I need it to be really obvious, please.” I began to thumb through: lots of chemistry terms. I’m actually a trained chemist and so my curiosity was immediately piqued. I saw the word “Field” several times. I saw how “O2” (for oxygen) looked like an “OZ” in this person’s handwriting. I saw something about an owl at the end and this was the very animal card I was currently working with. After a long pause and a quick glance around the gas station grounds, I threw the journal on the floor of my car and drove off. When I got to my friend’s office, I read the journal more thoroughly as I walked slowly from my car to the building. Let’s just say there were several (and I mean several) indications that this here journal was for ME specifically. Not a doubt in my mind. I stepped into my friend’s office and said “this thing - I don’t know what to do with it” as I showed off the banged-up book. With a sigh I placed it on the ground and we had our scheduled meeting. Towards the end, I said to my friend “Honestly, serious question, what do I do with this? There are too many points of connection directly to me. There’s almost an ‘ask’ in here for me to do something. I just don’t know what.” My friend looked at me in the eyes and said with poignant directness “I rarely give advice… And I would let that thing go. You can let it tie up your mental space and let it hook you or you can get present and be focused on opening your heart.” (Something like that, anyway.) And so, I stopped in the restroom on my way out. I looked at it long and hard one more time, flipping through the pages. I watched how the temptation to keep it was very strong. I took a deep breath and asked my highest self “should I keep this journal?” I immediately got a crystal clear NO and so I left it. Bye! I don’t know or care what you were about, Rice journal. But I see you. And I won’t take the bait. The clarity of connection wasn’t backed by a clarity of direction. I’m super open to serendipity but not clogging distractions. And now, I’m genuinely curious – what would you have done? I can see how I might be second-guessing myself here but I don’t think I am. In fact, no regrets on ditching the thing. But I am curious about how deeply some other version of myself would have engaged with it. Am I missing out on some magical connection? May all beings be happy and free. May all beings be happy and free. May all beings be happy and free. May it begin with me. With clarity, kindness and courage. May it be so.
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DescriptionPeriodic updates from Aurah in the Field. Adept Archives
June 2020
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